I think I consider myself to be pretty tough/brave/notawussy, etc.. BUT there are a few select things that scare the living crap out of me. Unfortunately, I was reminded just how scared I really am of one of those particular things last night.
Let me just tell you the three things that I am most afraid of.
1. Somebody I love, dying. Now keep in mind, old people don't count. I understand that everyone dies when they are old. But somebody being taken away suddenly/tragically? That's a different story. I can't even fathom the thought. Even though I think about it a lot..
2. Cougars. I know what you are doing. Laughing. But this is dead serious. I have been petrified of the things since I was little. You know how most little kids are scared of a kidnapper or boogey man underneath their bed? Yeah, I skipped that whole stage and went straight to thinking a cougar was under there. Every time I'm in the mountains, I always ask somebody who seems to know their "mountainey stuff," if cougars are well-populated in that particular area. If they say yes, you can bet that I will be in the car/cabin the whole time. The good news is that if I ever come face-to-face with one of them, I think I will die of fear before I have to feel the pain of it eating me alive.
3. Mother-freakin-THUNDERSTORMS. Which is what I was reminded of last night during a crazy storm.
I'm not sure if I have always been scared of them as much as I am now.. all I know is that they are the one thing that shakes me right out of my boots. Chris didn't know about this fear until we were on our honeymoon [which, just let me say, is the best time for anything unknown to come out of the closet...hahaha..no, that's probably not true]. We were on the top floor of like a 40 floor tower. And we were in Mexico. During hurricane season. And one night when we were.. sleeping... this HUGE storm passed over us. When the first sound of thunder hit, I literally almost fell right out of the bed. The instant shakes came over me. Chris ran to the window to see the lightening pass over the ocean. He was only there for about ten seconds before I demanded him to come back to bed and hold me until it was over.
Here's the things about thunderstorms, without fail, if they are big enough, I ALWAYS come to the conclusion that it is the Second Coming. Of Christ. I don't even think twice about it.. it's like I just know. And then one thought leads to the next, and I realize that I definitely wasn't good enough the day before to live through the Second Coming. So it's like my fate is right in my face. Do you understand how scary that would be?! It's exactly like someone holding a gun to your head. You don't know whether you will be dead in the next couple minutes or not.. How could that not make you pee your pants every time?
So there you have it. I'm just hoping that either:
A) some of you will tell me you have the same fears, and I will feel a little better about myself
B) some of you will tell me your fears are a lot more ridiculous and I will realize mine are rational
C) maybe just putting them on paper will help me get over it.
I feel really yuck now. Writing about all these awful things..
Here's to hoping that this spring wont bring too many storms my way!!
P.s. I just titled this blog "Fridays Fears". And then I realized- it's only Thursday. Gahhhhhh.