Monsters.

I'm awake. At two a.m.
Because here's the thing- after you get married, I think you get really scared to be home alone. Okay wait, I've always been a little scared to be alone. But now.. it's like way worse.  Chris is away. And I'm  peeing in our bed because I think that my drunken neighbor with the constant stomach flu (refer to earlier post) or just ANYONE for that matter wants to come kidnap me, probably do scary things to me, and then leave me up in the mountains to either: a) die or b) get eaten by mountain lions.

So pretty much this has been my run down for the night:

Get  home at ten, lock the door, really tight.
Try to pretend like, "Hey lauren, this is normal! See- I'll eat a bowl of cereal!"
Shake while eating my bowl of cereal.
Start studying, but then stop because it makes things WAY too quiet.
Think about brushing my teeth, but decide not to since no one is here to kiss my stinky breath anyways.
Jump in bed with my computer, and turn on the bachelor pad.
Hope to fall asleep watching bachelor pad
Bachelor pad ends, I am wide awake. Do fake yawn- doesn't work.
Hurry and think of what else to do so my mind doesn't think of all the possibilities of scary kidnapper/stomach flu man.
Write blog.

And I don't even know what to do next. FRICK. I also keep avoiding looking at the mirror directly ahead of me because every time I look up, I see scary reflection of my lit up face behind the computer screen. And then I think of bloody mary, clear back from.. oh idk, second grade?
See what I mean? This is why Chris gets in trouble whenever he decides to leave for the night. And heaven forbid that I have a nightmare. Because I will LOSE IT. I'm not kidding.

Also, do you want to know what joke makes me giggle any given night without fail?
Laying in bed-
Me: Chris...?
Chris: Yeah?
Me: ... last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow..
Chris: Let me guess... the next morning, your pillow was gone?
Me: Stop. Don't ruin my joke!
Chris: Lauren, you've told me that joke a hundred times
Me: giggling. for a pretty lengthy amount of time.

Alright... wellll...... see ya..... Wish me luck. I'm just gonna put my head under my pillow and hope that it suffocates me enough to pass out, fall asleep, but not die ya know?

P.s. how cute are our kids gonna be?!?!