Okay, alright- I FINALLY figured out how to upload a video onto this thing.. Well, sorta. The only thing I could figure out was to upload it to youtube and go from there. If anyone else knows how to get videos off your iPhone, to your blog, the help would be appreciated.
The story continues:
After taking 3 positive pregnancy tests, I realized they were probably true. And that's when I realized I still hadn't told Chris. I instantly got so excited. And then I got sick to my stomach. Because I knew the second I told him, I'd need to give him a brown paper sack to breathe in.. I was unsure if he would be scared/excited or scared/hatinghislife. Obviously I hoped he would share my excitement with me, but I honestly had no idea what his reaction would be.
I have always had this big elaborate plan to tell Chris that we were pregnant during a photo shoot. I always planned on hiring a photographer, telling Chris that we needed some new "family photos", and popping the big news on him right in the middle of the session. That way, I would be able to capture his reaction in pictures.
Does that sound dumb? I saw it done once and I thought it was the sweetest thing. The husband instantly had big tears in his eyes, and couldn't stop hugging and kissing his wife. I dreamed that someday, Chris and I would be the ones standing in those photos.
But here's the thing- I thought about it and I realized- NO flippin WAY. There is no way I could wait for even two days to break the news to him. I couldn't even fathom it. I had to tell him that day.
I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that I didn't hire a photographer. Those pictures would have been 2012's biggest epic fail and a huge waste of money.
It was around 10:30 in the morning at this point so I decided that I would meet Chris for lunch in Salt Lake. I called and got lunch lined up for noon at Rio Grande. I couldn't figure out exactly how I would tell him, so I decided to let the pee stick do all the talking.
I picked him up from work and we headed over to Rio Grande. I was totally over the top happy, so naturally, I couldn't stop talking... he was a little boggled, but didn't say too much about it. We sat down and ordered our food. Let me just tell you, my heart was racing like it never had before. I was so incredibly overjoyed by the fact that I was pregnant, and totally sick from my nerves about what Chris's reaction would be. All I know is that it probably wasn't good for the baby to experience so many emotions in a few short hours.
Me: So I was down here in Salt Lake today because I had to pick up an early birthday present for you! I got a really good deal on it, so don't worry. You can open it now, or you can wait until your birthday, I'll let you choose. (Obviously I knew he would choose to open it, because who would wait to open a present if they were given the choice, duh.)
Chris: Oh really?! Yeah, give it to me, I'll open it now!
I was planning on filming for longer- but as soon as I saw this reaction, I had to stop the camera. I was disappointed.
Don't let his fake enthusiasm fool you. If you don't know Chris, you probably think, "he actually seems kinda happy," but if you KNOW Chris, you will understand that this is as fake happy as it gets. Please notice how as soon as he opens the box, there is no sense of shock. He just simply picks up the test (clearly knowing what it is) and continues to hold a fake smile on his face.
In his defense, "he knew that I was probably super excited and he didn't want to ruin the moment". I shut the camera off and the rest of lunch was full of questions like,
"This isn't real is it?"
"Wow... uhhh.. wow. I'm not ready. We're not ready"
"...um yeah, I'm excited..?"
And my personal favorite, "Did you TRICK ME into getting you pregnant?" He legitimately thought I tricked him.
To say the least I was in pieces the rest of the day. I was so sad that he wasn't happy. I was sad that his reaction wasn't the way I had always dreamed it would be. I hoped he would come home from work that night feeling a bit better. It was only worse. He wasn't mad. He was scared. So scared. He kept telling me, "Just give me a while and I will come around.." So I continued to ask him every couple hours over the next couple days if he had "come around". The verdict was never better. He was still scared.
After our first ultrasound when we were able to hear the babies heart beat, and right then, I instantly saw a difference in Chris. It was like he knew the baby was real, and it was his. He knew he was officially a dad. And he softened.
We used to do an exercise every night to help Chris get more excited (clearly my idea). We would tell each other one thing that we were excited about for when the baby came. He probably thought it was ridiculous, but I think it worked! It forced him to think of all the exciting and rewarding things of a baby versus the stressful.
I'm happy to report that now he is always telling and asking me things like:
-You're getting in the bath again?! You're gonna cook him.. don't make it too hot, okay?
-You can't eat that cookie dough. I don't want him to get salmonella.
-What have you eaten today? Healthy stuff, right?
Here's the truth. Looking back, I can't blame Chris for his reaction. Not even a single ounce. Chris likes to be prepared. For everything. And I love that about him, because heaven knows that I am way too compulsive. He just wanted to make sure we were in a place where we could give our child everything it deserved.
Chris is going to be the best dad. He has the softest, kindest heart and a lot more patience than I do. I'm so excited to see him hold our baby for the first time. Even more excited than I am to hold our baby for the first time. I saw this on pinterest and I melted. It will go up in the nursery, no doubt.
Our doctor said that we could possibly find out the gender on Friday if the baby is in the right position- so keep your fingers crossed for us! I'm so excited to see our little nugget again. Sometimes (most times) I completely forget he is in there! It's a nice reminder to see him squirming around on the screen :) And yes, I am saying "he". Chris and I always call the baby a he. We're both absolutely convinced it's a boy.
Until next time...